Three Words: 30 Day Challenge

Decided to start 2011 with a 30 day yoga challenge-- although didn't start 1/1/2011....and haven't really been off to a great start.  Going to have to make up alot of days.

Jan. 1st- no yoga
Jan. 2nd- no yoga
Jan. 3rd- yoga flow with Ashley
Jan. 4th- no yoga
Jan. 5th- anusara yoga with Tad
Jan. 6th- vinyasa flow with Garth  vinyasa flow with Alyssa
Jan. 7th- sunset flow with Dice
Jan. 8th- get up and flow with Jennifer
Jan. 9th- flight club with Brock (streamed from yogis anonymous) and restorative yoga with Lisa
Jan. 10th- yoga flow with Dan
Jan. 11th- vinyasa flow with Garth
Jan. 12th- yoga lunch flow with Sean
Jan. 13th- vinyasa flow with Garth
Jan. 14th- destress yoga with Chani
Jan. 15th- no yoga
Jan. 16th- beach yoga with Brad and restorative yoga with Betsey
Jan. 17th- no yoga
Jan. 18th- no yoga
Jan. 19th- no yoga
Jan. 20th- vinyasa flow with Garth
Jan. 21st- no yoga
Jan. 22nd- vinyasa flow with Elise
Jan. 23rd- yoga blend with Paul
Jan. 24th- yw flow with Kia
Jan. 25th- vinyasa flow with Garth
Jan. 26th- no yoga
Jan. 27th- vinyasa flow with Garth
Jan. 28th- no yoga
Jan. 29th- no yoga
Jan. 30th- restoratives/iyengar with Kishor
Jan. 31st- yoga music flow with Kira and yoga lunch flow with Sean

Ok, still not quite caught up, but I'm getting there.  Also, realized it's kind of fun to try some new teachers.  Now can't wait to see how many different teachers I'll try in one month.

Update:  The 30 day challenge has been a lot harder than I had anticipated.  My body is tired, I'm getting stressed out thinking about it, etc.  So although I'm not going to make 30 classes in January- I'm going to just try and be content with what I did do...that's the yoga way, right?

Final Tally:  Didn't hit 30 classes, but made it to 23!  I'm still proud of that...now onto next month's challenge.

Three Words: One Month, Already?

I can hardly believe that it's been a month since I last posted.  So much has happened!  I just finished week 7 of my teacher training program.  We've covered anatomy, learned about the chakra system, broke down more poses and adjustments and have now turned in 4 different sequences.  I'm also just 7 hours shy of my 40 hours of additional class obligations.  I'm exhausted just thinking about all of this!

I've also noticed that I've started to change.  Physically, I've changed.  My hamstrings and hips are more open.  My legs and triceps are stronger.  But more importantly, I think I've started to change mentally, emotionally.  I still deal with lots of judgement, control issues.  But some of that seems to be melting away. I've noticed it at work and with my personal relationships.  Part of it is that I also just don't have time to deal with anything extraneous that causes stress.

I'm also starting to get sad that the YTT is coming to an end.  Last week I thought that the program couldn't end fast enough and now I want it to last longer.  Ahhh....that's the Libra in me.

So in one month, I'll be finished and I can't wait to see if I've changed even more.

Three Words: Let it Be

Today when I was driving to work, I started to doubt things with the man in my life.  All of these questions popped up into my head:

- are we too different?
- should I just end things now if I don't think we have a future?
- do we have a future?
- why haven't we integrated ourselves into each other's lives?

The thoughts were really overwhelming and completely consumed my drive to work.  Once I got to work, I logged in and had 50 new emails from last night.  At least three were marked urgent.  My day took over from that moment on and all of those morning drive thoughts were gone.  I was living in the present.

After work, I went to observe a yoga class.  At the end of the class, right before savasana, the teacher said, "just let it be." And then she played the song (a little cheesy huh).  But those simple words stayed with me. Sometimes I just need to let it be and not get so wrapped up with everything else.  Let the relationship be, don't try and create something that isn't there.

Three Words: Let It Go

Let it go.

This is what my Yoga Teacher told me today and it pissed me off.  I normally need to let things go (and probably do in this case too), but its really obnoxious to hear it from someone else.

In my YTT we are asked to come to class 15 minutes early so that we can start on time.  I respect this and the program so I do it.  But we run 15 minutes late every single session.  I find that's equally disrespectful to the students as coming to the program late is to the teachers.  In what I thought was a very respectful and polite way, I pointed out to my teacher that we often run late and I asked if there was a way that we could avoid this.  I was not trying to be confrontational.  I just want to be able to honor my other commitments.  And if that means that we actually end the YTT 15 minutes later officially, then so be it and I'll change my schedule.  (Note: this is only the second week of the training.) 

The response that I received was extremely defensive, "Your point is dually noted (with an angry look on the face).  I apologize.  So now let it go."  Let it go...really?

I didn't know that by raising the point I was holding onto it.  I'm holding onto it now by writing about this.  But at the time I wasn't. 

And actually now that I've expressed my feelings, I can let it go...

Three Words: Yoga Teacher Training

When my relationship ended last year, I started on a path of self-exploration.  Think Eat, Pray, Love.  But without the travelling part.  Or maybe just a little of the travelling.

With this journey, I discovered a true love for yoga that led me to sign up for a yoga teacher training program.  Three months ago when I signed up, it sounded like a great idea.  A 10-week immersion into yoga and by the end of those ten weeks, I would be certified to teach.

Last week I almost had a panic attach thinking about the commitment.  What had I signed up for and paid $3000 for?  20 hours a week of yoga!  And yes, I have a full-time job and like to have a social life.  Oh and did I mention that I had to do 20 hours of yoga!

So with all the anxieties, I started my yoga path this Friday.  I was filled with judgment and criticism over the time commitment, the people, everything.  But I walked into the room and I was asked to let go of something and to make an intention.  I decided to let go of judgment and vow to "love everyone and myself without judgment."  Saying the words out loud and writing them on a piece of paper made them real.  So with that I started my yoga journey...

The Three Words: I love you

Three days ago, I heard these words. I knew it was coming, but I didn't know it was going to happen then. And I did what you weren't supposed to do, I said nothing. I returned silence.

Thirty seconds passed (although it felt like 30 minutes) and he continued with, "I don't want to scare you." But I was terrified, shaken.

Thirteen months ago, I was used to hearing those three words everyday. I said them without hesitation. Not knowing what they meant or represented.

And now I need to think about that. What does it mean to love someone? How do I know if I really love him?