Today when I was driving to work, I started to doubt things with the man in my life. All of these questions popped up into my head:
- are we too different?
- should I just end things now if I don't think we have a future?
- do we have a future?
- why haven't we integrated ourselves into each other's lives?
The thoughts were really overwhelming and completely consumed my drive to work. Once I got to work, I logged in and had 50 new emails from last night. At least three were marked urgent. My day took over from that moment on and all of those morning drive thoughts were gone. I was living in the present.
After work, I went to observe a yoga class. At the end of the class, right before savasana, the teacher said, "just let it be." And then she played the song (a little cheesy huh). But those simple words stayed with me. Sometimes I just need to let it be and not get so wrapped up with everything else. Let the relationship be, don't try and create something that isn't there.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Three Words: Let It Go
Let it go.
This is what my Yoga Teacher told me today and it pissed me off. I normally need to let things go (and probably do in this case too), but its really obnoxious to hear it from someone else.
In my YTT we are asked to come to class 15 minutes early so that we can start on time. I respect this and the program so I do it. But we run 15 minutes late every single session. I find that's equally disrespectful to the students as coming to the program late is to the teachers. In what I thought was a very respectful and polite way, I pointed out to my teacher that we often run late and I asked if there was a way that we could avoid this. I was not trying to be confrontational. I just want to be able to honor my other commitments. And if that means that we actually end the YTT 15 minutes later officially, then so be it and I'll change my schedule. (Note: this is only the second week of the training.)
The response that I received was extremely defensive, "Your point is dually noted (with an angry look on the face). I apologize. So now let it go." Let it go...really?
I didn't know that by raising the point I was holding onto it. I'm holding onto it now by writing about this. But at the time I wasn't.
And actually now that I've expressed my feelings, I can let it go...
This is what my Yoga Teacher told me today and it pissed me off. I normally need to let things go (and probably do in this case too), but its really obnoxious to hear it from someone else.
In my YTT we are asked to come to class 15 minutes early so that we can start on time. I respect this and the program so I do it. But we run 15 minutes late every single session. I find that's equally disrespectful to the students as coming to the program late is to the teachers. In what I thought was a very respectful and polite way, I pointed out to my teacher that we often run late and I asked if there was a way that we could avoid this. I was not trying to be confrontational. I just want to be able to honor my other commitments. And if that means that we actually end the YTT 15 minutes later officially, then so be it and I'll change my schedule. (Note: this is only the second week of the training.)
The response that I received was extremely defensive, "Your point is dually noted (with an angry look on the face). I apologize. So now let it go." Let it go...really?
I didn't know that by raising the point I was holding onto it. I'm holding onto it now by writing about this. But at the time I wasn't.
And actually now that I've expressed my feelings, I can let it go...
Monday, October 4, 2010
Three Words: Yoga Teacher Training
When my relationship ended last year, I started on a path of self-exploration. Think Eat, Pray, Love. But without the travelling part. Or maybe just a little of the travelling.
With this journey, I discovered a true love for yoga that led me to sign up for a yoga teacher training program. Three months ago when I signed up, it sounded like a great idea. A 10-week immersion into yoga and by the end of those ten weeks, I would be certified to teach.
Last week I almost had a panic attach thinking about the commitment. What had I signed up for and paid $3000 for? 20 hours a week of yoga! And yes, I have a full-time job and like to have a social life. Oh and did I mention that I had to do 20 hours of yoga!
So with all the anxieties, I started my yoga path this Friday. I was filled with judgment and criticism over the time commitment, the people, everything. But I walked into the room and I was asked to let go of something and to make an intention. I decided to let go of judgment and vow to "love everyone and myself without judgment." Saying the words out loud and writing them on a piece of paper made them real. So with that I started my yoga journey...
With this journey, I discovered a true love for yoga that led me to sign up for a yoga teacher training program. Three months ago when I signed up, it sounded like a great idea. A 10-week immersion into yoga and by the end of those ten weeks, I would be certified to teach.
Last week I almost had a panic attach thinking about the commitment. What had I signed up for and paid $3000 for? 20 hours a week of yoga! And yes, I have a full-time job and like to have a social life. Oh and did I mention that I had to do 20 hours of yoga!
So with all the anxieties, I started my yoga path this Friday. I was filled with judgment and criticism over the time commitment, the people, everything. But I walked into the room and I was asked to let go of something and to make an intention. I decided to let go of judgment and vow to "love everyone and myself without judgment." Saying the words out loud and writing them on a piece of paper made them real. So with that I started my yoga journey...
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